Five Years

Saturday Chris and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. It is so amazing that we are celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary and we were able to do it with our 5 month old daughter. I look at our life and see how amazingly blessed we are. In this joy I get feeling guilty.

Right now there are three couples who are going through some really hard times. As we talk to them and hear their heartache and struggles with their relationships, we are thankful we are here to celebrate our anniversary together. It has not always been easy and it still isn't. There are still  days that we struggle to get through, but we are truly thankful for each other. There are just too many times that we take for granted. I can't speak for him, but I know I do. I forget too easily how many blessings God has given to me.

We struggle to have the few things we have, and I find myself complaining about that often. The truth is we have more then many, and God has blessed us beyond what we deserve.

Sometimes I just need to realize this.

I truly love my husband more then words can say and Olivia is more then I could ever even ask for.

Thank you, Lord!

Work....

I have been a mom for 5 mos in two weeks. The hardest thing about being a mom is.... leaving her to go to work. I have this constant struggle and guilt about working the long hours I work. I have this strong fear of missing too much of her sweet life. I work nights so it is nice to know that she is sleeping most of my hours, but I feel I am so tired I don't have 100% of myself to give her. I always ask what the answer is. I need to work and I love my job. I absolutely hate leaving her.

I am a RN at a local hospital. I work in the Medical ICU where I take care of critically ill patient's. I love what I do. I have felt a calling to be a nurse for many many years. Now I have achieved that. I am working my dream job... and I struggle every day going to work because I have to leave Olivia.

As I was driving home from work at 4:30 am I just kept asking myself why I need sleep. This is something I wish I could overcome. I wish I had 24 hours a day to give.... to give to my daughter, my husband, my family, and my job. I just need a sign that I am where God wants me and all this hard work will pay off.

Joy

Olivia is now almost 5 months old. She is the light of our life... Truly. No matter what is going on or how stressed we are she brings smiles to our life.  She is now rolling over, scooting on her back, smiling. giggling, bringing objects to her mouth... the list just goes on and on. It is amazing to watch how much she is taking in every day. It warms my heart to know how beautiful and pure she sees the world.

As her mom I want to her to continue to see the beauty in the way the world is supposed to be. She is so perfect and innocent and I pray that she can keep that gorgeous smile for her days to come!

May 8... the day our life really began.

Ten weeks ago our life changed in a way neither of us could ever of comprehended. Our gorgeous 7 lb 6 oz. daughter, Olivia Grace, was born. Words can not describe the joy she has already brought to our lives. I dreamed of her from before I can even remember. I was born wanting to be a wife and mother. The Lord could not of given me a better daddy for this beautiful little girl he has blessed us with. I love my family and I love my husband but it is true there is no love like a mother's love. That little girl has my heart. Watching Chris with her puts such a joy inside me that I never knew existed. Life is truly sweeter with her in it.

How "we" began

It all started 10 years ago. We met at Scott's Grocery. I was a bagger and he was the stock boy. We both still lived with our parents and realized that our parents only lived a few minutes from each other. Soon he was inviting me over to hang out with him and his friends as they worked on cars in his parents barn. It took a little while but eventually it became official. Four years later he took me on a walk and asked me to become his wife and a year and a half later that I became. The tears that flew from my face as I walked down the aisle. Those tears only showed a small portion of the happiness I was feeling to become his wife. I knew he was my happily ever after. Don't get me wrong... our life and relationship has not been perfect but it has made us... well us. That day seems as a dream to me. I still am so happy and proud to be his wife.

Why Blog

I look at my life and know it's not perfect but it is amazing. I never think much about blogging, but life is so short why not put my life experiences down in black and white. I am definitely a person who wears my heart on my sleeve. I put my emotions out there. I know some people think too much, but I think why not. I am a very open person I will tell you the good and the bad. Life is too short to hide who we are.