Work....

I have been a mom for 5 mos in two weeks. The hardest thing about being a mom is.... leaving her to go to work. I have this constant struggle and guilt about working the long hours I work. I have this strong fear of missing too much of her sweet life. I work nights so it is nice to know that she is sleeping most of my hours, but I feel I am so tired I don't have 100% of myself to give her. I always ask what the answer is. I need to work and I love my job. I absolutely hate leaving her.

I am a RN at a local hospital. I work in the Medical ICU where I take care of critically ill patient's. I love what I do. I have felt a calling to be a nurse for many many years. Now I have achieved that. I am working my dream job... and I struggle every day going to work because I have to leave Olivia.

As I was driving home from work at 4:30 am I just kept asking myself why I need sleep. This is something I wish I could overcome. I wish I had 24 hours a day to give.... to give to my daughter, my husband, my family, and my job. I just need a sign that I am where God wants me and all this hard work will pay off.