Work....

I have been a mom for 5 mos in two weeks. The hardest thing about being a mom is.... leaving her to go to work. I have this constant struggle and guilt about working the long hours I work. I have this strong fear of missing too much of her sweet life. I work nights so it is nice to know that she is sleeping most of my hours, but I feel I am so tired I don't have 100% of myself to give her. I always ask what the answer is. I need to work and I love my job. I absolutely hate leaving her.

I am a RN at a local hospital. I work in the Medical ICU where I take care of critically ill patient's. I love what I do. I have felt a calling to be a nurse for many many years. Now I have achieved that. I am working my dream job... and I struggle every day going to work because I have to leave Olivia.

As I was driving home from work at 4:30 am I just kept asking myself why I need sleep. This is something I wish I could overcome. I wish I had 24 hours a day to give.... to give to my daughter, my husband, my family, and my job. I just need a sign that I am where God wants me and all this hard work will pay off.

Joy

Olivia is now almost 5 months old. She is the light of our life... Truly. No matter what is going on or how stressed we are she brings smiles to our life.  She is now rolling over, scooting on her back, smiling. giggling, bringing objects to her mouth... the list just goes on and on. It is amazing to watch how much she is taking in every day. It warms my heart to know how beautiful and pure she sees the world.

As her mom I want to her to continue to see the beauty in the way the world is supposed to be. She is so perfect and innocent and I pray that she can keep that gorgeous smile for her days to come!